


A Daydream Away

by ussnicole



Series: Dirty Work [2]
Category: All Time Low
Genre: Alex doesn't know though, Alex is writing a song, All Time Low exists, Death, Denial, Depression, Jack is dead, M/M, Sadness, and i wrote it, but cute?, idk - Freeform, it hurts, this one is depressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 08:25:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9376634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ussnicole/pseuds/ussnicole
Summary: Jack and Alex are best friends.But perhaps best friends are best kept a daydream away.





	1. One

Alex was stuck.  His band was trying to come out with a new album soon, and it was up to him  to write most of the songs;  he wanted to write one more and it just wasn’t coming. He had been sitting on the counter in his kitchen for almost an hour now, staring at the floor and trying to come up with something, and he was getting frustrated. He sighed to himself and pulled out his phone, dialing a familiar number. 

“Hey Jack! You wanna help me write a song?” 

“Of course. I’ll be there in a second.”

And he wasn’t kidding, because practically a second later, Jack was walking into the kitchen. Alex didn’t think much of it; Jack always showed up as soon as he needed him. They exchanged a hug (they were best friends, after all), and then they headed out to Alex’s couch in his apartment. It was messy, but no more than usual, and Jack was around so often he practically lived there too. 

“How can I help?” Jack asked, settling into the couch with his long legs stretched out in front of him. Alex sat on the other side of the couch, splayed out stomach down. 

“I’ve been trying to write the last song for the album, but I haven’t had any inspiration so far. I was hoping we could hang out, and maybe that would help me think of something. Sound good?”

“Sounds great. What were you thinking?”

Ten minutes later, they were sitting on Alex’s kitchen floor with a deck of cards and a few beers. It was too hot to go outside for them, plus Alex was feeling lazy, so they ended up going to the coolest room in the house, which happened to be the kitchen. They were playing an intense game of Slapjack which Alex was losing rather badly, but he didn’t mind. Jack was laughing uncontrollably at a joke he had just told (Alex wasn’t paying attention so he laughed at Jack’s face instead). Alex looked up at his best friend, smiling and opening his mouth to say something, but then he stopped.

Jack was shuffling the deck of cards, his laughter dying out and a huge smile creeping its way across his face. Alex held up a finger to tell him ‘one second’ and then ran off to find his notebook. It was under a few pillows on his bed, so he grabbed it and a pencil, jotting down a few lines before he joined Jack on the floor. 

“What was that about?” 

“Song ideas.”

“Can I see?”

“Not yet.”

He closed the notebook on his newest idea, smiling faintly and then picking up his half of the deck. This song was going to be a good one.

_ I wish you  could see your face right now  _

_ ‘C ause you’ re grinning like a fool  _

_ W e’re sitting on my kitchen floor  _

_ O n a Tuesday afternoon _

He hoped it was Tuesday, because he couldn’t really remember. It worked anyway.


	2. Two

The week went unbearably slowly. Alex had practice a few times, but Rian and Zack were tiptoeing around him and every time he mentioned that he was going to hang out with Jack they got all suspicious and uncomfortable. He stopped mentioning his friend and counted down the hours until Friday, when he and Jack were going to go out to a bar together. It made the rest of the week somewhat bearable. 

When he met up with Jack at the park near his apartment, Alex was so happy to see his friend. They had both been busy the whole week after Tuesday and had not had time to get together, so both were excited to get out.  Alex gave Jack a big hug and then they started walking, catching up and chatting about what they had been up to as they made their way downtown. Every so often Alex would glance over at Jack, who was slightly taller than him, and smile to himself. He wasn’t sure how he was so lucky to have such an awesome best friend, but here they were.

They decided not to drink alcohol that night, instead finding a corner to drink soda and watch the crowds out and about.  They got a kick out of watching out for the guys who got married too soon and were out trying to either forget about their crappy marriages or find their wives, who were out looking for better men. They’d often bet on who might be together or not, and it was an immature but entertaining pastime. 

One of the women in the club was drunk enough to stumble up to them and start trying to hook up with Alex, who gently pushed her away and smiled politely.

“No thank you, I’d rather not dance,” he told her, detaching her hand from his wrist and shooting a look at Jack that screamed ‘ help! ’ Just as the woman was stumbling towards Alex again to renew her advances, an angry man with a red face stormed up and started yelling at both Alex and the woman about cheating and being whores. Alex tried to explain his way out of it, but ended up with a punch in the eye and a bag of frozen peas from behind the bar for his troubles. 

Jack just patted him on the shoulder consolingly as they walked back towards Alex’s apartment, and promised that tomorrow night they would go to a different bar and actually drink. Alex smiled at Jack as he walked away and then raced into his house, grabbing the notebook from the table and scrambling around to find a pencil.

_We would go out on the weekend_

_ To escape our busy lives _

_ We’d laugh at all the douche bag guys _

_ Chasing down their desperate wives _

The song was coming along. He wasn’t quite sure where, yet, but it was coming. 


	3. Three

_ “Jack, come on, it won’t be a big deal! You know how I feel about you, don’t you feel the same?” Alex pleaded with his friend, standing outside the place where they were going to do their next interview. “Why can’t we tell them?”  _

_ Jack just shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes. “I love you, you know I do. We just can’t… we can’t be together, okay? We’d be better off as friends.” _

_ “Oh, come on, Jack!” Alex groaned, taking Jack’s hands in his and pleading with him. “It won’t be a big  deal, our whole fan base believes that we’re together anyway.  I just… I hate keeping this a secret.” _

_ “Well, we’re not very good at keeping it a secret if everyone suspects!” Jack exclaimed, wrenching his hands away and starting to cry. “I can’t do this right now. Don’t you dare say  anything. I’ll see you tomorrow.” _

_ And with that, Jack ran off, jumping in his car and racing out of the parking lot. Alex trudged back inside, wiping away a stray  tear from the corner of his eye before briefly explaining Jack’s absence to Rian and Zack. Before he had a chance to finish, though, they were being called out for the interview and Alex put on a smile, ready to pretend like he was okay for a while. _

_ Halfway through the interview, his phone rang: Unknown Number. He excused himself and answered, glad for the distraction. _

_ “Hello, Alex Gaskarth?” _

_ “Yeah, that’s me… who is this?” _

_ “We regret to inform you that your friend, Jack  Barakat , passed away a few minutes ago. He was in a car crash, son, I’m very  sor -” _

Alex gasped, covered in a cold sweat and shaking from head to toe. He ran to the bathroom, retched into the toilet a few times, and then rinsed his face off with cold water from the sink. He checked his phone: 5:30. It was almost time to meet Jack. He must have been dreaming. 

Jack was knocking on the door in half an hour, and Alex opened the door as fast as he could before yanking his best friend into a bone-crushing hug. 

“You okay,  Lex ?” Jack asked, patting Alex on the back and looking down at him with concern.

“Yeah… yeah, I’m okay. I just had a really bad dream. I’ll just grab a jacket and then we can be on our way?”

“Sure.” 

Alex walked back into his apartment, leaving Jack leaning against the door frame, and found his notebook next to the denim jacket he had set out earlier. Before he met Jack at the front door again, he jotted down the few lines that had popped into his head. They made his eyes well up, and he shook his head, grabbing his jacket and heading out to forget about them.

_ We never stood a chance out there _

_ Shooting love in real time _

_ So we’ll take it over ice tonight _

_ With a little salt and a little lime _


	4. Four

Alex was sure that Jack could tell he was feeling off, mostly due to the lame jokes he kept cracking and the reassuring smiles Jack kept shooting him. Alex tried to shake the dream he had, and once they were closer to the club he began to relax.

Once inside, they went straight to the bar for drinks. Jack had decided before they came to abstain from drinking anything but soda, allowing Alex to get absolutely smashed while still having someone to watch out for him. Alex was very grateful for this, and immediately ordered a few shots of tequila. By his third drink he was swaying to the music and by the fifth he was begging Jack to dance. Jack reluctantly followed Alex out onto the floor, where the shorter of the two proceeded to make a fool of himself but giggle and grin the whole time. Jack just smiled back at him and attempted to shuffle to the beat, ignoring the fact that he definitely couldn’t dance for shit.

Alex knew he was drunk, and that was the beautiful part. He would remember everything tomorrow, a secret he had never let Jack in on. That was why he got away with so much while he was drunk; no one knew he was aware of what went on. He could still remember some pretty crazy parties that his friends still brought up years later. So maybe he was just a little too proud of himself as he inched towards Jack, pretending to stumble (okay, maybe not pretending) and catch himself on Jack’s arm. And maybe he had completely meant to give his best friend a huge hug, but who could tell? To everyone else, he was just another touchy drunk.

By the end of the night – or beginning of the morning, perhaps – Jack was exhausted and Alex was sore all over from all the dancing and throwing himself at Jack. They ambled slowly back to Alex’s apartment, both of them quiet. It had been a fun night, and Jack was too tired to go home so ended up staying the night at Alex’s. Okay, so maybe Alex had begged him and offered a shirt to sleep in, and maybe he got a little needy and had practically dragged Jack to his bed, but that was normal. Jack usually ended up sleeping next to Alex if he spent the night; it was just something they did.

Alex woke up first the next morning, with a splitting headache and crystal clear memories of the whole night. He cringed at the light streaming in his window and how he was all over Jack, but he shrugged to himself. He always got a little overboard when he was drunk. After he downed two aspirins and a cup of black coffee he curled up on the couch with a blanket and his notebook, not wanting to wake Jack after the long night he put him through. As he sat, lines popped into his head and he began to scrawl.

_I would drink a little too much_

_You’d offer me a ride_

_And I would offer you a t shirt_

_And you would stay another night_


	5. Five

Jack woke up just past noon; Alex had fallen asleep again on the couch. Jack didn’t have the heart to wake him so just sat next to his friend, gently brushing his hair away from his forehead and humming quietly. Alex stretched and yawned, smiling up at Jack.

“How’d you sleep?”

“Good, how about you? Hung over still?”

“Nope, I had an aspirin or two and some coffee. I’m all good.”

“What do you want to do today?”

“Let’s stay in.”

So they spent the day chatting, watching television, and playing stupid games on Alex’s phone together. When it began to get late again they laid down, squishing onto the couch and cuddling slightly to keep from falling off. A movie was playing in the background but they had diverted their attention to each other.

“How is your song coming along?” Jack asked, his head resting on Alex’s chest. 

“Good,” Alex replied, smiling faintly and peeking down at his friend. “I have almost all of it done. I just need a bit more for the verses and then the chorus.”

“Huh, you usually write the chorus first,” Jack remarked , causing Alex to start laughing.

“You noticed?”

“Of course I did,  Lex . You’re my best friend.” At this, Alex’s smile fell and he sighed quietly. He was silent for a moment, but then Jack flipped over and started tickling him, and he shrieked with laughter as he rolled off the couch. They spent the next hour or so running around the apartment with pillows and blankets, trying to hit each other and screaming until the neighbors started to pound on the walls.

As soon as Jack had to go back home, Alex ran to his notebook for what he decided would be the last few lines for the verses. Now all he needed was the chorus. The song was almost done.

_ It doesn’t matter when we get back _

_ To doing what we do _

_ ‘Cause right now could last forever _

_ Just as long as I’m with you _

Alex woke the next morning to a pounding at the door. He fell out of his bed, banged his shin on the corner of the wall, and tripped over a pair of shoes before he finally got to the door.

“Jack?” he asked, pulling it open, but instead he was met with Zack and Rian. They exchanged a concerned look and smiled hesitantly at Alex, and then stepped into the apartment. 

“Hey, Alex, how are you doing?” Zack asked, smiling at his friend and pulling him into a hug. Alex smiled brightly, ignoring the pain in his leg and following his band mates into his living room.

“Fine, what’s up? Did I miss practice or something?” 

“No, no, nothing  like that. We’re just worried about you, you know?” Rian looked at Alex like he was fragile, like any wrong word and Alex would shatter into a million pieces. Alex just frowned in confusion and looked between Rian and Zack. 

“I’m totally fine! I went out with Jack last night-”

“Alex, that’s the problem!” Zack interjected, looking exasperated and heartbroken. “Jack is dead.”

_ You’re just a daydream away _


	6. Six

“No.” 

“Alex-”

“No.”

“Listen, Alex, we know-”

“No! He’s not! He was just here, we went out, we went to a bar, I swear!”

“Alex, he died months ago…” 

Alex felt like his world was falling down around him. Jack wasn’t dead; Jack wasn’t allowed to die. He was here yesterday, laughing and smiling and cuddling with Alex on the couch. Alex was going to tell him he loved him today. Alex _ loved  _ him. He couldn’t be dead. He just couldn’t.

“…in a car crash, and you haven’t been the same since. We talked to some people with the record label and they suggested therapy…”

This wasn’t happening. This was all a big joke;  maybe it was April Fools’ Day. Maybe he was dreaming again, and he was going to wake up and meet up with Jack and they were going to have another day together and everything would be great. If only he could wake up.

“…everything is going to be  fine, we just have to get you all better… Alex, are you even listening?”

Alex snapped back to reality. He looked back and forth between Zack and Rian for a while, shook his head, and lay back on the couch. Rian just sighed, burying his face in his hands. 

“What are we going to do?” he asked Zack, who was just as discouraged as him. 

“We’ll get through this. We lost Jack, but we are not going to lose Alex too. We’ll get through this.”

_ I’ll keep you a daydream away _

The last words Alex wrote before he set his notebook on fire were only seen by one person, and they weren’t even alive. But they were meant for him.

_ You’re just a daydream away _

_ I wouldn’t know what to say _

_ If I had you _

_ And I’ll keep you a daydream away _

_ Just watch from a safe place _

_ So I never have to lose _

As Alex watched the flames, Jack wound his arm around his best friend’s waist and pressed a ghost of a kiss on his hair. Alex leaned into him, crying silently and wishing with all his heart that everything was different. 

He shut his eyes for a long time, and when he opened them, Jack was gone. 


End file.
